Ever Have You Ever

Depression literally strips you of your Identity. It is lost, whoever you were. Depression-fire and brimstone visiting from Hell. It sears every ounce of you until you are flat, breakable, and dust. Then you are bent and contorted beyond reality, left alone with your warped and pummeled mind. Who are you? What is life? What is the point? Where is there meaning?

Years of torture and you glimpse a horizon. The first horizon you’ve ever seen, you are not who you were. You never realized that such beauty existed, such hope. A new light enters your soul. Your mind understands, ever so slightly. You have been creative and resourceful. Despite all the darkness and death you have felt inside, you lived to see this sunrise. The greatest of all sunrises, because it was revealed For you.

Ever Have You Ever reached this first horizon? Seen the greatest of sunrises revealed just for you? When you reach this point you will not know who you are. This is normal. You have not been allowed to reflect positively on yourself. You have not been seeing your strengths, for they were hidden from you. Nor have you seen your personality, for it was stripped from you. Such is the torture of Depression.

Be kind to yourself. You will find that you suddenly — can. Of course habits taught to you by Depression require some patience to let go of. But you will have Hope to carry you on your way. You will see clearer. And Joy can be found again.

Depression will nab you from time to time. It will never forget you. Nor can It quite accept the fact that you found a way to escapeIt. Life will have meaning and these bouts of torture last but little compared to the years you have suffered and endured.

There is an end. Sadly not a severing of ties to Depression. It can take years to find this ending. But it is there. You can do this. You have come so far. You are a warrior and a champion. You are destined to do great things since Depression chose to bring you down. You are not Depression. You will find a way to escape. Be patient with you.

~Sarah Mitchell